The Endodontist
A Stephen King Novel
Teeth are an incredible prank. We have scary mouth bones to mash our prey, but they might grow in sideways. And if they get stuff between them they rot inside your head. And you have separate insurance for them because they are not part of regular health, they are special health, like eyes, or women.
I was lucky enough to I grow up with a lot of access to health care, but as an old child/young adult there was a nearly ten year stint during which I didn’t visit a dentist at all due to lack of insurance and medical anxiety.
I eventually found a dentist who offered a discount for folks without insurance, and I started going regularly. Did it help that he played Joy Division while he worked, didn’t shame me for not having perfect teeth, and was kinda hot? These are the great mysteries of the universe.
All good things come to an end, and when I moved for graduate school, I didn’t see a dentist again for three years. When I finally did, despite my diligence in flossing and brushing, my teeth needed some attention. A new dentist who played boring music told me I needed four crowns and several fillings. I panicked when I found out how much crowns cost (more than I made in a month) and how bad my nonprofit insurance was. Thankfully, I was living in a big city and able to get a second opinion where I was told he wouldn’t do a crown at all, which saved me six thousand dollars I did not have.
Both dentists and dermatologists have a confusing line between healthcare and cosmetics. I love that people can spend a million dollars on their teeth and look like a cartoon. That’s Capitalism, baby! But I need my teeth to last only as long as I do. I only want to spend money on them if it’s medically necessary. Similarly, when I go to the dermatologist, please just check out my moles, compliment my ability to hide from the sun, and keep your needles to yourselves. Botox is not a hobby I can afford.
In Philly, I would get x-rayed, and the hygienist or Dr. would often say, “Wow, you’ve had a lot of work done.” and I would reply, “Thank you!” because culturally, ‘work’ is an ethical good.
When we moved to northern Minnesota, I opened my mouth and the hygienist said, “Wow, you’ve got great teeth.” Thank you! I’ve had a lot of work done!
I suspect this is a health equity issue. Both dentists in Boise and Philly were in areas of higher socioeconomic status. Many people in those places had access to decent health care for generations, so they visited the dentist regularly and they had the stability and education needed to practice regular hygiene. Duluth is a small city, but it’s the largest city in Northern Minnesota/Wisconsin and has two major hospitals, making it a medical hub for many people from the vast rural areas that surround it. These places have a much more varied socioeconomic status, full of folks who have less access to dental care, and/or prioritize it less.
In June, I got my first crown—one I actually needed (I hope? Truly, I’ll never know). And since then I haven’t been able to chew on the right side of my mouth. It’s no big deal, just six months. No worries! I’m fine! At my last dental cleaning in October, I shared this with the hygienist and she said, “Why didn’t you call us?” I didn’t know how to tell her 1) I wasn’t excited about dropping another $2000 on my teeth, 2) Shame for my own pain is ingrained in my soul and 3) I don’t love to call people. Do they have a texting line or email or something? I got a referral to a mythical creature: the Endodontist, who I assumed was kind of like the key maker in the Matrix.
He was not like the key maker in the Matrix! He was a bald man in scrubs who assumed I understood why I was there and who he was. He had to restart his computer during my session so I made charming small talk, “I don’t know anything about.. Teeth…? What’s the difference between what you do and what a dentist does?”
Here’s my crash course in Endodontrity! Endodontism! Endo-not-metriosis! Endodontists specialize in infection and performing root canals (his words). They deal with issues inside (“endo”) the tooth (“odont”) and dental pulp, which is a phrase that makes me want to puke a little and never have orange juice again.
In case you’re like me and the extent of your understanding of root canals is, “bad'“ and, “big ouch.” A root canal is when Mr.(Ms./Mx.) Endodontist severs the nerves that are in your teeth so they don’t cause you pain any more, then fill the canals in your tooth with composite and seal it all up so you can keep mashing your meals pain-free.
One of the things I loved about Hot Dentist is that he was happy to talk to me about my teeth, explain what I was looking at in x-rays, and didn’t treat me like I was an idiot—just like I hadn’t studied dentistry and missed the intensive dental study unit we all get in public school.
Not all doctors do this, and it’s a huge bummer. Just because I have no idea my mouth bones have tiny canals for tiny boats in them, doesn’t mean I don’t want to know. Understanding why I’m in pain, or why I need to spend $2000 on something that’s lurking in the back of my mouth is empowering, even if I still don’t want to spend that money.
The Endodontist peered into my mouth and immediately said, “Wow you’ve got great teeth.” To which replied, “Ank oo! Eye aa uh aw uh errr un!” He sprayed cold stuff on my teeth and had me bit down on a plastic stick a bunch of times until I said, “OW.” He asked me if I was taking pain medication, like I was supposed to be managing my pain instead of being in pain, which is the punishment for me failing to not have pain.
He took an x-ray, and had the… endo-hygenist? Assistant? Nice person also in scrubs? Lead me to a room where a machine hung from the ceiling. I stood under the machine and bit down on a sterilized plastic cover, locking me into the mind-melding fighting robot where I would telepathically connect with another operative to go into battle against ancient monsters. Or maybe that was a plot point of the Guillermo Del Toro masterpiece, Pacific Rim, but who am I to say? The machine whirred around my head taking photos like I was famous and it worked for TMZ and finally released me.
It took less than 20 minutes and I learned a lot:
It’s fun to be full of childlike wonder around healthcare professionals who don’t realize how fascinating their jobs are.
Endodontists deal with nerve damage and infections of your mouth bones and if your insurance isn’t exceptional, you will pay at least $500 at your first fifteen-minute visit.
There is nothing wrong with my mouth bones. Great news for my wallet and the right side of my mouth, who can continue to be on vacation, and terrible news for the left side of my mouth, which will continue to do all the chewing. It was explained to me that they could do a root canal for me on the tooth anyway, which showed no signs of infection or even distress, but an elective root canal sounds like something for a character from Little Shop of Horrors with a lot of disposable income, which I am not.
Like many healthcare professionals, despite the experience being just fine, I hope I never see him again.
Oh god, my tooth just started hurting and rather than call a dentist (I haven't been in...4 years?) I just bought a water flosser instead. That'll fix it, right??
This was a fun read, I learned a lot, and my fear of the dentist still endures. Though my fear of not going regularly is greater, so that's a good thing. I also do not have dental insurance because that seems to cover nothing if you have a real emergency???